Head Student Closing Ceremony

Farewell From the Forest

Sunday May 17th marked the end of a practice period and the ending of my role as Shuso/Head Student. As Shuso I had opportunity to have ‘teas’ or meetings with many sangha members, gave three Dharma talks, and created a 3 part Introduction to Zen class. We actually made it to our summer destination the day before. Sunday was the first day in nearly 2 weeks that did not involve many hours of driving, consumption of ‘road food’ and dog potty stops.

We rehearsed the ceremony only a few hours before the actual start time. As I was now an hour later than the time in Austin I had adjustments to make. We also needed to adapt the ceremony to fit an online component. Imagination and choreography were needed. We mimed giving and receiving items, timing of bows and chose camera viewing angles. Participants reviewed their roles, the timing and all in all it went well.

For me it represents a turning point. I ask ‘what’s next’? and wait to receive inspiration. Somehow, I got used to having a role to embrace. Now is different. Partly it is change that is seasonal. A different time zone leads to changes in my daily sitting practice. Also, my connectivity issues impact the monitors’ role I had daily. Often I must be off-camera. Sometimes the connection drops and restarts. Sometimes I use my phone as a hotspot.

I miss having ‘teas’ where I meet with sangha members one on one. I miss creating dharma talks and sharing them with the sangha. Doing talks infused me with a sense of purpose that I did not have prior to being named Shuso. Waiting to see what comes next seems a bit counterintuitive. Will a need arise? Not knowing is the most intimate and here I sit.